Mom was a little 'enmeshed', as the counselor's would say, with me. So we had a difficult relationship. She was hanging on for dear life and I was always pushing away. Very sad really as we both loved each other a great deal. I just came across a statement recently that when someone makes you the person responsible for their happiness it always destroys the relationship. That pretty much sums it up for us. So on reflection I guess we did pretty well actually in keeping it together all these years and being able to keep mom at home until the end. I'm very thankful that I was with her when she passed. And I will chose not to 'regret' what wasn't.
The hospice girls that helped me keep mom at home these last two years are THE BEST! They became family to us and Yvonne, mom's favorite, made it to be with us when mom passed. Don't know what I would have done without her there! We are all going to keep in touch. Having lunch with Yvonne next week.
It still feels odd to have this much freedom to go and do whatever! Hubby took me to the kids house for 3 days this last week. Passed this on the road...
Wonder if my meal would be free?
We had a nice visit...
Made Halloween cookies
Biting the Moon - Martha Grimes
Death Turns the Tables - J.D. Carr
The Princess and the Goblin-George MacDonald
Mr. Pinkerton has the clue-David Frome
The Franchise Affair - Josephine Tey
The Moonflower Vine -Jetta Carleton
The Pursuit of Love & Love in a Cold Climate by Nancy Mitford
The Black Dudley Murder - Margery Allingham
and two old kids books from the 1950's by Troy Nesbit
Heliotope in my daughter-in-law's garden
I brought her chair and bookcase home with me. The gold box on the bookcase is mom's remains. We will eventually be burying her in Tennessee next to her parents, but for now it makes me feel good to have her right here with me! Maybe I'm crazy! I have a couple pics of her laughing and making silly there too, to remind me of better times.
|No date on the photo though:(|